LITTLE BADGES - BADGE 'O' THE MONTH FOR MAY

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Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

Well it's that time again...yep....after the event. May came and went, and has been filed away for yet another year under M.

We like to promote a badge each month to the lofty position of Badge 'O' the Month and May was no exeption. Normally it takes us 3 quarters of a bottle of whisky and some real heated discussions. "I like this one"..."Well I like this one", "Well I don't like this one as much as this one"....etc etc.

But May was a little different, thanks to me being in at an opportune moment. I happened to backing up some files... and the doorbell rang. My first thought was... could this finally be my delivery of a unicorn that I have been paying monthly installments for over the last 12 months to a helpful chap in Unicorn Land with a Manchester bank account. The postie would definitely have to ring the doorbell to deliver that.

So I rushed down the stairs with pure excitement in my heart...Only to open the door to two ladies wearing black and holding a leather satchel each. I looked past them obviously to see if they had the unicorn around the corner, but alas no.

Instantly my...'oh-dear-lord-what-are-they-trying-to-sell-me' demeanor came over me.. Which involves the standard opening of the door with one foot lodged behind the door and my arms crossed in front of my chest. But they were smiling and it was a nice day... and they said good morning which is a rarity from strangers in London.... so I relaxed.

And I'm glad I did, as I had a lovely little chat for the next 30mins with them.

The upshot of our conversation is... I am going to Hell in a handcart. Which may seem a little harsh from people that smiled and said good morning to me not 29minutes before hand.

The good thing is.... I have no belief in Hell and hand carts although very popular at one time or another are fast going out of fashion like an ipod generation 2.

I knew something fishy was going on when they did not offer me cheaper gas and electricity than my current supplier (who they actually never know who you are with anyway so how would they know). After telling me what a lovely garden we had, they asked me if God was in my life. I said "I hope not we can't afford the council tax for him too". I think then it dawned on me. They were selling something so I went straight back into arms across chest folded mode.

The older lady of the two, then tried to put a pamphlet in my hand, which I said no thank you to. She then said, can I read you a section from the bible, to which I replied "sure".... and then "if you don't mind I will read you a section from Alice in Wonderland". The older lady did a very good blank look at me and proceeded.

Now Although I have read the bible (bloody had to at school and for RE.) I cannot remember what she was saying as one of my neighbours walked past and I waved at them.

I politely told them that that is all well and good and is a nice little story but that is were it ends for me. It is a nice story. As I started to close the door, the older woman looked at me incredulously and said.... Do you not believe in God.

My default setting is Atheist/humanist. I believe in science and proof.

She then showed me a copy of Watch Tower or whatever it is and said that they too believed in science and had scientists writing in their magazine. I had to stop her in her tracks and point out that their religious believing scientists had written in their magazine...but what they did not have was a counter argument, or a name for the scientist and his qualifications. I had to point out that the Watchtower was paid for by their organisation and would not print anything that did not agree with their beliefs.

She then directed me to the bible again and said it was all written down in here.

I had to tell her that the bible was written by people over a period of 1400 to 1800 years by upto 40 different authors. Who wrote down what they had heard on the grapevine from scholars and disciples.... and well what with chinese whispers and the human need to exagerate everything....Well then I can no more follow the words according to the gospel of the bible, a fine work of fiction, as I could do by following the equally talented writings of C. S. Lewis as gospel.

I set them the task of repeating back to their others exactly the words I had used with them on the doorstep without changing one word in the retelling. Hell I know the 22nd cub scouts of Northampton were a little backward but even we understood that when playing chinese whispers with 24 of us that the phrase "Johnny smells of old lettuce leaves" eventually came back as "Johnny smiles, shoots and leaves".

What absolutely flawed me though was their reluctance to take Evolution into the equation in any shape or form. I was stunned. We were all created magically.

Based on the recorded dates and geneology in the Bible we are expected to accept that the world came into being in 5500 BC or about 4000 BC. This geneology is based on ADAM and EVE getting it on and creating humans in the image of god...... But earth came into existence.... wait for it...roughly 4.6 billion years ago.

I asked them if they had ever visited the Natural History Museum....Where you can actually see evolution happening...Not live but in front of your eyes. But they said they had scientists that could disprove evolution.

I for one evolved from sludge and debris and the right scientific conditions... and hell yeah I was an ape boy. I admit it. The way I still act around people...is proof positive I evolved from the ape world. Just ask my wife.

I prefer to set my beliefs on truths and facts as much as I can and I cannot bring myself to live my life by a work of fiction however much of a blockbuster it is. But we are living proof that evolution exists and thousands of years down the line our future selves will look back on us in Museums and try and get there heads around the fact they they in there hovering brain capsules actually had podgy bodies like us.... and somehoveringbrainthing will still argue we came from God.

So, For me.... I had to go with 'Hands up for evolution' to show my support for my monkey brothers who made me the man I am today.

Now does anyone want any nits picking.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

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