Wednesday 15 August 2012

LITTLE BADGES - WELL DONE LONDON 2012







 
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Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

In the words of David Coleman...."I don't believe it...It's truly unbelievable"

And you know what....It was. When we won the Olympics bid in 2005 I was working in offices near Covent Garden, a hot hot day we had all the windows flung open so we could enjoy the London smog....all of a sudden a huge cheer rang out, followed by further cheers. We looked at each other with a bit of bewilderment.... and then realised that we had won the 2012 Olympic bid.

Our first reaction was oh god no... How are the government going to cock this up. Even then before we re entered Austerity Britain riding on the wave of optimism and wealth we all thought the opening ceremony would be a rubbish affair. We had visions of someone coming into a half built arena and releasing some doves and then some politician bleating on about stuff until everyone got bored, a handful of fireworks and a buffet table with Vol-au-vents.

Then of course we had the people trying to make money out of the Olympics. People with businesses on or close by the Olympic park area, trying to get their pound of flesh, weeping about how their businesses would be affected and they had been running the businesses for 100 yrs....Out of the back of an old Capri.

But We have delivered....Well the French don't agree but that is because they are well...French (shrugs shoulders in a French way).

But before that, we had the very British Strike mentality. How can we get our pound of flesh from the games, what's in it for me, I want more money...I want more money. And of course in a very British way....They did get there money, as they threatened to be unpatriotic and cause mayhem. Toys out of Pram scenario.

Then there was the confusion of the Super highway Olympic lanes....Which worked as they should.

Yes there was disruption, and yes peoples noses were put out of Joint but thankfully the successive governments and coalitions managed to help deliver the 2012 games for London.

Don't get me started though on the 2012 Logo. I still have to look at it everyday on my Lloyds Tsb card. Hideous..... Just Hideous.

Whereas the  Mascots Mandeville and Wenlock were superb design, and yet conspicuously absent from the TV footage, unlike the Mascots in Beijing.

Now I did not get tickets to the Games....even though I tried 3 times and of course was annoyed to see all those empty seats, but then again I did have the best seat in the house. HD projector of all the coverage displayed across my living room wall in HD SUPER COLOUR etc etc.  Mind you I am glad that Claire Balding is no longer that large on my wall and in HD.. Ye gods.

From the opening ceremony only marred by the Paul McCartney Hey Jude incident, through to the closing ceremony, only marred by the appearance of the old spice girls (I'm sure there was a meeting and they were told to bugger off and never sing again like Celine Dion).

It was a truly special Games and dare I say it being English and reserved a very Patriotic affair. We only tend to begrudgingly get the Union flag out for state funerals, Royal weddings, and WI conventions. But I've seen more Union flag material this year than in any given year.  And why not. Why not celebrate what we do well, why not shout it from the rooftops and support our Athletes.

Because ye gods...They did us proud. It is unheard of for The United Kingdom to finish 3rd in the medal charts... especially above Russia, Korea, Germany, France...well most of the others really. In Beijing you had the feeling that, well yes, they had got over 20 medals... but that was just lucky and the moon was in the right hemisphere. But to trounce that Medal tally. So very very proud.

But alas, I have the Olympic blues now a little, yes we have the Paralympic to look forward too and we can start the party up again..... But in the meantime I will be wearing my Union Flag badge along with the other top 5 Countries in the medal chart. Well done to ALL who took part.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Wednesday 25 January 2012

LITTLE BADGES - LOVE LOVE LOVE AND LOVELY BADGES


 
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 little Ebay store


Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

All you need is love...Love is all you need.

Technically not accurate... but you can see what they were trying to say with that.

So who has caught your eye this year. The over indulgence of Christmas a long distant memory, signs that Climate Change (Weather to you and Me) are allowing spring flowers to spring up early, that mysterious substance called Love is in the air... mixed with exhaust fumes and the latest made up super virus.

It's almost February and that bloke or woman at the photocopier suddenly looks a little more appealing.

Now I am one of the lucky ones. Each year I do not have to do the dance of love to attract a mate as I already have one. Very lucky I am indeed too. She's a cracker.

Oh dear lord above (fictitious character) I would hate to have to try and find someone before Valentines day. I am... what you might call, not the most natural of lovers (Bleurgh). Not smooth, not drop dead gorgeous (shut it), no George Clooney. But I can make a woman laugh.That does not mean by just getting undressed...it was cold.

Thankfully that particular avenue of 'hunter gatherer' ship has sailed for me.

It's not a world like it used to be, apparantly it is against people's human rights to pull their pigtails anymore. No longer do I have a boy network around me giddy enough to run up to a girl and say 'My mate fancies you' and watch from afar as the girl sees who sent the message and turns to her friends... Head thrust back way beyond her shoulders in an almighty laugh and guffaw...to the point of almost stopping breathing. (you know who you were?)

No I am glad I am well out of it. But I have unfortunately fell into the Smug pile. For those that have still to find their love and lobster, this must be a very trying time of year.

Do you stalk your intended victim on Facebook, twitter them, but be aloof, text them using code words. (all texting is code now lol) Do a spotify or itunes mix mp3 for them... and deliver it on an ipod (man modern life is costly, was only the cost of a cheap recordable tape when I were a lad)

And what happens if it all goes wrong. The 8 people that witnessed my embarrasment at lower school when I was SHUNNED ( I am over it)... Well now, it will be all around school, or the office in seconds. Before you know it you will get a text or email with a youtube attachment showing the world your demise because some little shit videoed it on their HD all singing all dancing phone that is not very good as a phone but brilliant at video and sharing!! grr.

And quite frankly the worst invention of Valentine's day..... The valentine's day meal.
DO NOT ORDER SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE. You might love it, you might really feel like it, but for the love of god (fictitional Character) you are not sat at home wrapped in your comfy dressing gown, watching Coronation street or some other soap, while picking odd strands of spaghetti out of your cleavage (men included), and wiping your face with the back of your hand with little affect other than smearing your face so you look like the 'Joker'.

No this is a proper grown up place with badly treated waiters and waitresses looking for any excuse to belittle you in front of your new found love. Dont opt for the SOUP either. Whole host of trouble there. Keep it plain and simple.

No. Quite frankly, now I have thought about it, do not bother with Valentines this year if you do not feel like it. Don't be pushed into it because your friends are all loved up, your parents talk in hushed tones to your aunties and uncles...pause, look over at you, pause again then carry on whispering.

It's no body elses business but your own. If however there is a special someone this year, keep it old school. Say it with a badge. Original, none of those standard red roses which go up in price on the 1st of Feb, non trackable, easy to slip into someones bag, and a sure sign someone got your intended pressy and is willing to recipricate if they actually wear it.

On the other hand you can cast your net wide, instead of go for one individual tell the world you are open to the best bidder or kisser by advertising it on yourself with a come one come all badge.

Happy valentininginging... whatever it is called.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Thursday 13 October 2011

LITTLE BADGES - SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN PARTY

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Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

Something wicked this way comes......

It's creeping up on us like a small menacing ghost girl with long hair across her face. Tis the month to be spooky. The nights get darker...heck the mornings get darker too. The leaves are all going golden brown and falling to the ground and the witching hour is approaching at full speed on the back of a broomstick.....

..... Mwhahahahahaha. Gulp.

I have to say, apart from Christmas... this has to be the second best time of the year. I never buy pumpkins at any other time of the year... but come October I cannot get enough of those large Orange Vegetables. Man they are heavy though. I then delight in cutting their tops off.... and grabbing the innards (or brains of the pumpkin as I like to think of them) scooping them all out and erm...throwing them in the compost bin.

Each year we seem to buy something new to decorate the house... some skeleton head lights, pumpkin lights, hanging spiders, halloween cocktail stirrers (Never going to use them....never going to use them!).
I have my beedy eyes on a severed head which speaks to you as you near the door....but my wife said that may actually scare all the trick or treaters away.

And I always (accidently) buy more treats than we actually need, and of course have to try and consume them before christmas...as they will surely go off these chemically enhanced and preserved
e-numbered little treats...that you have to really chew...and chew...and chew before they break down.

I know some people can't stand trick or treaters and I must admit the teenagers wearing a mask as their costume who turns up rattling a can of loose change leave our place with childrens sweets only. My philosophy is try and enjoy the night. We get some great kids around who really do make the effort, and any kid brave enough to walk up our pathway while the parent stands at the gate, deserves as many treats as they can fit in their pockets. We have had witches, and wizards, and ghosts and ghouls and zombies come to our door in the past. The werewolves and mummies tend to stay away, I suppose they are a little shy.

So we hope you have a fantastic Halloween weekender party this Halloween. And to get you and your little monsters in the mood we have put together some lovely little treat packs. Inside you can get 10 random 25mm Halloween badges taken from our vast array of 153 different Halloween designs. Hopefully something for all ages. And at Just £4.60 for 10 badges we think you will agree that that is a Halloween TREAT!

So prepare your homes for the 2nd best night of the year.... and Happy Halloween to you all... be you a boy or a Ghoul!
Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Sunday 2 October 2011

LITTLE BADGES - BADGE 'O' THE MONTH SEPTEMBER - CROMER HERE WE COME







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Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

Oh we do love to be beside the seaside....

Almost every year we have a lovely break in Cromer in Norfolk. A lovely seaside resort that time has passed by. The east coast gem, the beautiful sea air and my favourite place in the world... the little gap at East Runton.

It is a real place where you can get away from everything. We have lived in London for over 14yrs now, and it does you good to get away from it. Don't get me wrong. I love London as much as I love Cromer. The two are so very different that they complement each other.

Just the other night we went to a BBC tv recording of Live at the Apollo and saw the cream of British comedy talent for the price of a hotdog and a round of drinks. That would not happen in Cromer. We are huge comedy fans and love going to all the comedy haunts, Jongleurs, The Comedy Store, Chuckle Club, Hampstead Comedy Club, Amused Moose....none of which we can get while we are in Cromer. The west end shows, the busy pubs, the hustle on Oxford Street. You either love it or hate it. We both love it.... but at the same time, I have a hankering for Cromer.

Somewhere deep within me is this pull. It is a lovely place to relax....truly truly relax, even more so than on a holiday abroad.  It is so familiar to us now, we no longer have to hunt things out. We know Cromer like the back of our hands.

Our first stop, once we get there is to walk to the pier...overlooked by the impressive Hotel de Paris, a formidable building which looks haunted if ever a hotel should be haunted. It is on the pier that we have watched shows like, Chas 'n' Dave, and the Barron Knights without a hint of guilt. Just a good fun night out. It is also the place we have the first drink of the hoilday. Then it's off to the best chip shop in Cromer 'Mary Janes' where you know you are in for a treat of a meal as the queue for chips spirals out from the door and around the corner. With fish and chips in hand we march up to the shelter near the council offices to sit and watch the sunset with greasy chips and greasy lips. Magic.

Then there are the shops. From art shops to cafe's to bistros, to restaurants (like the excellent cromer curry house) to cheap tack shops... we love them all.

And it is here we stock up on books. We always pack lighter than we need and take the biggest suitcase possible because for some reason Cromer has the best bookshops and charity shops for books in this fine land.

A trip to Cromer is not a trip unless we pop into the quite brilliant 'Bookworms of Cromer'. A compact and bijou bookshop, filled to the gunnels with excellent quality books at the right price. There is another bookshop going out of Cromer on the high street but for some reason you always come out of there feeling disorganised and techy as it is hard to find the books they are stacked so high....and mostly falling to bits.

Then when we are done with 'Bookworms of Cromer' we hit all the charity shops. I do not think there is a time that I can remember when we have not come back from Cromer with less than 10 books. Sometimes....it is many many more. Then there are the vinyl records. Such a reasonable price for vinyl, and if you buy enough...easy to transport home in a suitcase.

And with Cromer comes East Runton. Quite frankly a place where I would be happy to pop my cloggs looking out from the sea defense at 'The Gap'. Just to stand for an hour or more watching the dog walkers, the parents with children trying to entice them into the arctic waters... and the insane Surfers doing their thing when the surf's up! Not owning a dog of our own it is a lovely chance to spot dogs, and to hopefully have an encounter and to pet one. To look out to sea with binoculars and watch the freight ships pass by. Suprising how busy the sea is. To catch a glimpe of the porpoises hanging around the crab fishing pots... to watch the sun go down on yet another gorgeous day in Cromer....The Pier to your right, the sea growling at you on the pebbles in front of you in a rhythmic fashion and the sunset saying good night...here come the stars and the moon on the left hand side. Pure magic.

And it is for this very reason that we promoted 'Cromer Crabs' to the heady heights of Badge 'O' the month for September. And thank you Cromer for yet another wonderful relaxing stay. We salute you all in Cromer. Thank you.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Monday 5 September 2011

LITTLE BADGES - BADGE 'O' THE MONTH THE MILK MONITOR COMETH


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 little Ebay store


Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

There are some succesful stories around at the moment about brainy youngsters getting above and beyond what they hoped for with their A-Levels and GCSE results. Well done the lot of you.....

...but unless somewhere on your CV for future employment you have the highest school accolade going, all your effort may have been for nil.

It is not all about grades, and sometimes those that come away from education without the grades often find a way of rising to the top of the barrel. Academic achievements are all well and good but unless you can also show, determination, grit, and can handle positions of importance with ease...then actually nailing that job in future may be a tad difficult.

What you really need on your cv is a section with all your school achievemnets. Be it Head Girl or Head boy, blackboard monitor, lunch tray monitor etc. This shows employees some worth.

The coveted achievement though has to be....*Drumroll*....Milk Monitor.  That is the one everyone wanted. It's the pinacle of your education. To be named for a whole term as official milk monitor to your class...wow. It does not get much better than that.

Now as I am a little long in the tooth and it may well be the case that our little darlings of today are not allowed milk, because of cutbacks and more than likely health and safety (What a small child handling a glass bottle) it may well be the case that there are no longer milk monitors in school.

If this is the case then something very very very wrong has gone wrong with this world.

To deny little Cuthbert, Helen, and Zak (the cool kid from America who chews gum) the utter pleasure freedom and one upmanship over your fellow school chums is a crime.

I know the 'Maggie thatcher Milk snatcher' was a popular chant when she took school milk from schools, when she was in power, but I hope with the passing of time, those in power can see the value of children drinking something healthy in school instead of an Irn Bru, Tango or a dreaded Coca Cola.

No. Being a school Milk Monitor got you places...well out of the classroom to go and collect the tray of mini milk bottles covered in bird crap. Taking the long route back with your warmed up milk that has been sat out in the sun all morning, a quick whizz in the toilets....don't bother washing your hands, and then returning to the classroom like a hunter gatherer to stand proudly by the teachers desk and hand out bottles to your class chums. Making sure that they have one bottle each, and strictly only one little red straw. Making sure your best mates get the cleanest bottles and the lower ranked kids the ones that have the worst of the bird mess on them. Oh happy days. Happy days indeed.

Oh...What....you mean you were not a Milk Monitor. Oh sorry. The power of it all went to my head then. Well it's lucky for you, that Augusts Badge 'O' the Month is 'Milk Monitor'

Now you too can swan around the place with your head held high and recieve the adoration of your colleagues. Yes I know we are no longer at school..... but the work place is a wonderful place to reintroduce the MILK MONITOR ethics.

I salute you Milk Monitors everywhere.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Thursday 14 July 2011

LITTLE BADGES - GOING GEEK BADGE 'O' THE MONTH JULY


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 little Ebay store


Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

Come on now....Admit it. We all have a little geek in us trying desperately to get out... or in most cases being suppressed to within an inch of it's geek life. God (whom does not exist) knows we would hate our friends to find out. They would ridicule us mercilessly.

Nay I say. Nay nay and thrice nay. Let the Geek in you out.  There is no shame in it. It shows people who you really are. It shows them that you are not all nicely cut hair, clean teeth, and trousers or skirt wearing individuals....but in fact...well actual bone-a-fideeee individuals.

So we encourage you all to let your geekiness shine through.

My geekdom is well documented around these parts. I always seem to be a little different to those around. I never shy away from saying I like something if I do, just in case it amazes or upsets someone else. If I like something I like something.

At School I was happy to let everyone know I loved Rolf Harris's songs. There I've said it. It is out there in social network land. Of course the cooler kids tried to mock me.... but If you take no notice of them, they soon come around to realising that you are the cool one. I never tried to fit in... I probably deliberately tried not to fit into the norm of school social standings. And guess what... people end up respecting you for it.

I love everything about the Harris. His artwork, his enthusiasm, his style...his beard his glasses. He just makes me happy.

But if you like something, I don't see why you should feel ashamed about it. Heck I even like The wurzels. But then again when you look at my music likes I have an enormous eclectic taste.

I also love the work of 'King of the geeks' Jonathan Coulton. An Internet phenomenon who traded in working as a codemonkey to become a musician. His songs are weird, and range from yeti's to Zombies, to computer in putters to Tom cruise and Ikea. Well worth a listen.

Although I do not dress in the traditional geek style... (and having been to Jonathan Coulton gigs....there is a definite geek look) I have Geek within me. I love singing along to a song about Zombies who are trying to break into the office to make ex workmates zombies too. Who would not.

I have many geeky tendencies too... as we all do.

So this month let your inner Geek out. No longer hide your geekness.

With this in mind we have dedicated our front page of the shop to a little bit of geek magic.

Plus we had to...with my love of Rolf and my geeky online tendencies, promote our NEW ROFL badges to the mighty heights of Badge 'O' the month. Available in 6 different colours...(so geeky)

Let the geek inherit the earth!

Go geek.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Wednesday 29 June 2011

LITTLE BADGE - WIMBLEDON BADGE 'O' THE MONTH JUNE



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Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

FLAMING JUNE....(said in a course Australian accent). We were spoilt in May with Sunshine a plenty. The water utilities companies started rubbing their hands together and suggesting that we would run out of water if this warm spell continued into June. They were readying themselves to bump up the cost of water, while under investing in piping...oh and that little thing called reservoirs! But how can these companies build more reservoirs when they have sold off the land....Doh!

The Global warming gang came out from under their tinfoil covered caravans and started suggesting that this is it....we are all going to die because another polar bear died and an icecap melted a little.

The religious nuts started babbling about god punishing us for his sins (shouldn't have sinned then should he....if he were in fact real) and this is it...it's the beginning of the end of the world.

Now I'm not a betting man..... but I was pretty sure June would prove to be wet. It traditionally is, and yet each year people forget about it like a forgetful aunt.

We all know it will rain in June......because Wimbledon is on! Guaranteed water from the sky.

Which also means that we are guaranteed a visit by Sir Cliff. Who can forget his assault on peoples ears on Centre court that year when everyone was fed up with all the rain and the lack of tennis play. Yet Sir Cliff took it upon himself to selflessly entertain the baying crowds. And because we are British and all closet Sir Cliff fans we all sang along and enjoyed every minute of it. A true British living legend. The English Elvis and an annoyingly young looking bloke for over 70yrs old.

It's a national tradition to mock Sir Cliff, and to try and poo poo the fact that he had a hit in every decade. Got to admit..... no one can listen to 'Wired for sound' without having a sly smile and thinking....TUNE.

But like rain, Sir Cliff goes hand in hand with Wimbledon. It would not be a successful tournament if the aviator sun glassed Sir Cliff did not turn up in the Royal Box. I mean...he is Royalty isn't he.

And even though those naughty people at Wimbledon Tennis association  invested heavily in a roof for centre court so the viewing public would never have to see a repeat of Sir Cliffs rousing pick me up music again....he will still be there.... somewhere, so keep your eyes peeled.

So it is with great pleasure.... that we promoted 'I saw Sir Cliff' badge to Badge 'O' the month in June. It is almost like aligning the planets and stars.....Rain....Wimbledon....Sir Cliff.

Of course all the attention should be on Andy Murray.... but he has enough pressure on his shoulders. If only Gregg Rusedski and Tim Henman could have broken through earlier and won Wimbledon so we do not have to hear about this being the first British (British when he is winning...Scottish when he is not) player to try to win Wimbledon since Fred Perry last won it in 1936.

No for us this year...even though I love Wimbledon Tennis fortnight, the sport we will be following is spotting Sir Cliff in the crowds and spotting people wearing our lovely Wimbledon badges in the audience. Now available in 38mm so easier to pick up on BBC HD... in between those tennis balls whizzing back and fourth over that net thingy.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com

Wednesday 15 June 2011

LITTLE BADGES - BADGE 'O' THE MONTH FOR MAY



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Hi

The virtual kettle's on..... So while I let it boil I just have this to say

Well it's that time again...yep....after the event. May came and went, and has been filed away for yet another year under M.

We like to promote a badge each month to the lofty position of Badge 'O' the Month and May was no exeption. Normally it takes us 3 quarters of a bottle of whisky and some real heated discussions. "I like this one"..."Well I like this one", "Well I don't like this one as much as this one"....etc etc.

But May was a little different, thanks to me being in at an opportune moment. I happened to backing up some files... and the doorbell rang. My first thought was... could this finally be my delivery of a unicorn that I have been paying monthly installments for over the last 12 months to a helpful chap in Unicorn Land with a Manchester bank account. The postie would definitely have to ring the doorbell to deliver that.

So I rushed down the stairs with pure excitement in my heart...Only to open the door to two ladies wearing black and holding a leather satchel each. I looked past them obviously to see if they had the unicorn around the corner, but alas no.

Instantly my...'oh-dear-lord-what-are-they-trying-to-sell-me' demeanor came over me.. Which involves the standard opening of the door with one foot lodged behind the door and my arms crossed in front of my chest. But they were smiling and it was a nice day... and they said good morning which is a rarity from strangers in London.... so I relaxed.

And I'm glad I did, as I had a lovely little chat for the next 30mins with them.

The upshot of our conversation is... I am going to Hell in a handcart. Which may seem a little harsh from people that smiled and said good morning to me not 29minutes before hand.

The good thing is.... I have no belief in Hell and hand carts although very popular at one time or another are fast going out of fashion like an ipod generation 2.

I knew something fishy was going on when they did not offer me cheaper gas and electricity than my current supplier (who they actually never know who you are with anyway so how would they know). After telling me what a lovely garden we had, they asked me if God was in my life. I said "I hope not we can't afford the council tax for him too". I think then it dawned on me. They were selling something so I went straight back into arms across chest folded mode.

The older lady of the two, then tried to put a pamphlet in my hand, which I said no thank you to. She then said, can I read you a section from the bible, to which I replied "sure".... and then "if you don't mind I will read you a section from Alice in Wonderland". The older lady did a very good blank look at me and proceeded.

Now Although I have read the bible (bloody had to at school and for RE.) I cannot remember what she was saying as one of my neighbours walked past and I waved at them.

I politely told them that that is all well and good and is a nice little story but that is were it ends for me. It is a nice story. As I started to close the door, the older woman looked at me incredulously and said.... Do you not believe in God.

My default setting is Atheist/humanist. I believe in science and proof.

She then showed me a copy of Watch Tower or whatever it is and said that they too believed in science and had scientists writing in their magazine. I had to stop her in her tracks and point out that their religious believing scientists had written in their magazine...but what they did not have was a counter argument, or a name for the scientist and his qualifications. I had to point out that the Watchtower was paid for by their organisation and would not print anything that did not agree with their beliefs.

She then directed me to the bible again and said it was all written down in here.

I had to tell her that the bible was written by people over a period of 1400 to 1800 years by upto 40 different authors. Who wrote down what they had heard on the grapevine from scholars and disciples.... and well what with chinese whispers and the human need to exagerate everything....Well then I can no more follow the words according to the gospel of the bible, a fine work of fiction, as I could do by following the equally talented writings of C. S. Lewis as gospel.

I set them the task of repeating back to their others exactly the words I had used with them on the doorstep without changing one word in the retelling. Hell I know the 22nd cub scouts of Northampton were a little backward but even we understood that when playing chinese whispers with 24 of us that the phrase "Johnny smells of old lettuce leaves" eventually came back as "Johnny smiles, shoots and leaves".

What absolutely flawed me though was their reluctance to take Evolution into the equation in any shape or form. I was stunned. We were all created magically.

Based on the recorded dates and geneology in the Bible we are expected to accept that the world came into being in 5500 BC or about 4000 BC. This geneology is based on ADAM and EVE getting it on and creating humans in the image of god...... But earth came into existence.... wait for it...roughly 4.6 billion years ago.

I asked them if they had ever visited the Natural History Museum....Where you can actually see evolution happening...Not live but in front of your eyes. But they said they had scientists that could disprove evolution.

I for one evolved from sludge and debris and the right scientific conditions... and hell yeah I was an ape boy. I admit it. The way I still act around people...is proof positive I evolved from the ape world. Just ask my wife.

I prefer to set my beliefs on truths and facts as much as I can and I cannot bring myself to live my life by a work of fiction however much of a blockbuster it is. But we are living proof that evolution exists and thousands of years down the line our future selves will look back on us in Museums and try and get there heads around the fact they they in there hovering brain capsules actually had podgy bodies like us.... and somehoveringbrainthing will still argue we came from God.

So, For me.... I had to go with 'Hands up for evolution' to show my support for my monkey brothers who made me the man I am today.

Now does anyone want any nits picking.

Well, I can hear the kettle has just finished boiling so

Milk and sugar?

Join us in our little shop for a virtual cuppa www.thebiglittlebadgeco.com